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" "YOU STARTED THIS CAROL?" "Yes Mom, but look how neat it's turned out. I just wanted to share with my best friend that's all, so I began to share and Beth sort of just blossomed after a while. Are you angry with me?" "No, honey, just surprised. The damage, so to speak, is done now, a fete accompli. YOU aren't angry, are you Beth?" "Are you kidding, Mrs. Conrad? I just want to keep going to the end of the rainbow now." "I understand you are taking Carol to the prom?" "Yes, she just asked me this week." "Mom, do you think she could get away with wearing my beige chiffon and high heels to the prom?" "Sure honey. I can't see her going in a tux. She'd look ridiculous with those B cup breasts. Then you'll at least be the same height. This should be fun although I wouldn't ordinarily approve of you dating another girl, Carol (laughing)." "She's barely aware of herself yet Mom. She's still a little bit Bert but we can fix that, can't we?" "If that's what she wants, we can.". I wish, dear reader, I could tell you that I protested and fought the good fight but that would be a lie. I meekly got up and headed into the bathroom. After showering and shaving I emerged from the steam-filled bathroom wearing only my robe and a pair of slippers. Sarah looked at me. "I thought I told you to shave." "I did shave," I said, rubbing my chin. "What about those?" she said, pointing at my legs. It was at this moment that I began to doubt my wife's sanity and determined to put my foot down. Twenty minutes later, apart from a few nicks, my legs were as smooth as a baby's bottom. (They actually felt nice, but I wasn't going to tell her that.) She brought me into the bedroom and sat me down at the dressing table. It was covered in all sorts of strange smelling bottles and tubes. Dr Jeckyll would have been jealous and I was about to become Sister Hyde. Sarah picked out one of the bottles and dabbed some coloured stuff onto a sponge. "Now," she said, "Sit back, close your.
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