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She said, “What in the hell is that?” Little me was standing next to her and I said, “What in the hell is what, Mama?” Clout across the back of the head, even though she said it first! Then I got another smack for raising that very subject.Maybe my poor decision-making is genetic? Don’t tell Mama, she still swings a mean smack, and you get double if you duck! Well, I’m not sure what she would think about my latest fiasco, but I can feel the smack coming even if she doesn’t deliver it personally. No, no one’s in the hospital this time!That only happened once, okay twice, but the second one wasn’t my fault, Larry’s dad was running late. Oh, you want to know about the first time? I was with and Mark and Larry, the same Larry, but we’ll talk about that time later. Like I was saying, Mark, Larry, and I were up in Larry’s attic. You don’t know Larry’s sister Christine, Mark and I thought she was about the prettiest thing either of us had ever seen. We weren’t sure why we would. I couldn't wait to grow up.But what could I do? At least the girls scrubbed all the makeup offcompletely, and then carefully penciled in some new eyebrows for me towear to school.Time flew by and before I knew it the dreaded day had arrived. I hadtried to catch Bobby's eye to warn him, but we were in different wingsof the school of course, and he was so busy all the time, it just neverhappened.So the girls made me wash extra hard "to get rid of the boy stink" theysaid. Then they put some girl deodorant on me, and even some femininespray perfume product between my legs, which was disgusting. I did notneed to shave because there was nothing to shave, not even peach fuzz.They spritzed me up with perfume and forced me into a super tight waistnipper, so I thought I was going to pass out from loss of breath. Theysaid my butt was too small, but Brenda had a throw pillow in her roomthat was heart shaped, and they cut the cover off of that and split itup into two part which they then sewed.
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