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It's like the right words don't exist."Now, it may be a part of my New England background, us nor'easters can be pretty darn stubborn creatures (kind of like the muse, now that I think about it), and I continue to stare at the screen, knowing that the words are THERE, just it's a matter of getting them out on paper. I know this is important. I know why I continue to try to do this. And I know why I can't. And that just makes it worse.I try everything. Free-word association. Listening to music, and trying to build off the lyrics. Even watch a sexy film and try to turn that into words for a proper erotic story. And just outside the corner of my vision, I know she's there, shaking her head sorrowfully, knowing that unless I break through my personal wall, there is no chance that I can pull it off.Finally... I spin in my chair, and look at her... and sigh, and for the first time, ask my muse directly for help... "Why? Why can't I find the words to express myself? I feel the emotions, I. It took some time, but I don't think he hates you," she said."You wouldn't be here if I did," I told him. "It took a long time though. You can thank Linda for getting me through most of it. And you're very lucky I've never been a violent man. It took a lot of time for Linda and me to get through all of it, but we're better now, aren't we?"I looked at her when I asked, hopeful she'd show Michael she agreed. Linda put her hand on mine and gave it a little squeeze."Besides, you were both lucky I didn't take my waitress's offer to fuck me, then never come back. A lot of other men would have," I told them."David! The pretty little Goth girl? The one I had to see about paying our tab after you forgot? Would you really have fucked her?" With you and Michael upstairs, well, doing whatever? I was sick with fear and guilt, and revenge wasn't far from my mind. She almost had me persuaded, but I had pickled my brain with so much booze I wouldn't have been much good to her anyway, even if had.
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