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For that whole day after she left and that night my emotions ran the gamut from hurt to sadness to depression and finally to anger. I was angry with everything and everyone, especially God. How could a benevolent, loving God allow this to happen to me, to us?I met Alyssa for the first time the day after Susan left; it was love at first sight. She took my hand and I looked into her bright blue eyes and I was hers from that moment on. That meeting destroyed my depression, eased my hurt, and in large part erased my anger. Only the sadness remained but it was a shadow of what it had been; with Alyssa front and center I had no time to be sad.For close to twenty years, we spent almost every day and night together. The evenings that she went out with friends were hard on me. I would pace back and forth like a lion in a cage until she came home. As I heard her at the front door I would sit in my big overstuffed chair and pretend I was interested in the newspaper or a book. Alyssa would tell. Damn it he can’t be dead!’ she yelled, ‘It’s Jason — he is suppose to be here to make everything right.’ ‘But he is not here, my brother is dead laying on a cold slab because he got tricked into fucking you one night and then got saddled with the one who ended up getting him killed!’ Jared yelled at her, tears forming in his eyes. ‘You have known him about 2 months and I have known him my whole life! Do not tell me how much you need Jason to be here, I have a bigger need then you do, you bitch! Stop this fuckin’ truck!’ Jared screamed out. The truck came to a screeching halt and Jared flung the door open then slammed it closed. He stomped back to the truck behind him and got into the back. Laysea was completely caught off guard with everything that Jared said. She scooted over to where he had sat so she was not smashed against Ty and just looked out the window. Feeling everyone in the truck glance her way every once in a while, so she kept facing her window. Tears kept falling down.
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