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Not for decades."Not dead," I managed."We're definitely going to have to do something about Bandit's behavior," said Chris.I almost asked her if she owned a gun, but decided not to. I just said, "Yeah." So you're okay?" Yeah," I wheezed."Are you having another asthma attack?" No," I replied weakly. "He just stepped on my ... um ... well, never mind. I'll be all right. Honest." You're sure?" she said.I tried to sound less like a wuss and again told her I'd be fine."So what's up?" I finally remembered to ask."Oh!" she yipped. "I completely forgot about something and it means we can't go out to eat tonight."Great. This was going to be one of those days.She told me about the chaperone gig and apologized for having one of her brain lapses. I was feeling pretty sober until she said, "I was looking forward to going out with you and lost track of everything else." Now that part sounded pretty good.I assured her it was okay and suggested the next evening."Ohhhh," she whined. "I'd love to, but. Apart from anything else I’m sure she’ll want to meet Alice. What’s more there’s a rumour doing the rounds that she’s going to cook a leg of lamb with that apricot and pine nut stuffing you so adore.’ Barnaby’s lip quivered and he struggled to suppress a tear. ‘But Aunt Anne, I’ve nothing to give her.’ ‘That can soon be fixed, Barnaby. We’ve got whole week to do it in. If there’s nothing suitable in the shops I’ve got a set of perfumed soaps somewhere and I know there’s an unopened box of chocolates in the cupboard left over from Christmas with a good ‘use by’ date on them. However I think the present she’ll enjoy best will simply be having you around for a few hours.’ ‘Very well Aunt Anne, I’ll do it for you.’ A tear ran down Barnaby’s cheek and Anne gave her nephew the hug she knew that he needed. ‘Don’t be silly, Barnaby. Here – dry your eyes. Look, I’m going to see my mum the same day and I’ll drop you and Alice off on route. It’s not far out of my way. Anyhow, I’m bursting for.
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