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‘What’s up.’ she grinned and he wondered how she could be so calm when he was almost raging inside. ‘I’m running a business, not a dating service.’ ‘Excuse me?’ she was genuinely confused, trying to scan her brain and remember if she had messed up somehow. ‘I need a manager that can run my business not date the employees.’ ‘I do not date the employees.’ she looked at him baffled, she didn’t date anyone, she was a virgin. ‘I can’t believe you just said that.’ ‘What do you expect me to say when I find my manager kissing the busboy in my front yard?’ he snapped. ‘I wasn’t kissing him!’ ‘I saw you.’ ‘He kissed me!’ she stormed defensively. ‘Well maybe you should stop flirting with him so much!’ ‘I NEVER flirted with him!’ ‘Your his boss Nomi and you need to act like it!’ he used her real name sternly. ‘I do act like it!’ ‘How? By making dates on my time?’ ‘I wasn’t making dates, he asked me to dinner and I didn’t even get a chance to answer him before you stormed in!’ ‘Thank god I. I want him to hold me, and kiss me, and do things I am not equipped forwith me ....Then I wake up, crying.I dont know what to do about this.I dont know who I can talk to.I know dreams aren't real, but it comes from somewhere, but where?And its not just the dream. Sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror, andI look .... wrong, somehow. I look and I half-expect to see the girl frommy dream looking back at me.And the fact she doesn't is a grief I cant even begin to describe ....I've got to pull myself together, shake this off somehow.I wish I had someone to talk to about this, but who?My dad is a man's man, he's counting on me to follow in his footsteps. Goto collage, be the Big Man on Campus, marry a girl just like mom, he'dnever understand.And Tammy's counting on being the girl in that picture, I can tell this inthe way she talks about our future. And yet the more time I spend withher, the more I envy her more than I desire to be with her. She'd neverwant anything more to do with me.
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