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‘Later,’ Tom said. He waded to his small beach, slipped on a pair of flip-flops waiting for him there, and started up the path, carrying his wet daughter in his arms. She was light for her age, and he’d grown accustomed to carrying her from the day she came home from the hospital, so he bore her easily. She leaned back to look at their new neighbor halfway back up the hill. Facing him, she said, ‘Michelle seems like a nice lady,’ she intoned seriously. ‘Yes, punkin.’ ‘How old do you think she is?’ ‘I dunno, sweetheart, thirty?’ The blonde hair full of wet curls shook in exasperation at the lame attempt at diplomacy. ‘Think again, Daddy. She’s forty, at least.’ A mischievous smile lit up her face. ‘I think you like her,’ her voice sang accusingly. ‘We’ll see, baby.’ ‘Yes, I think you like her. And she has nice tits. But she doesn’t have any hair between her legs like Grammie does.’ Tom stopped cold and turned to look at his daughter’s face. She returned his disbelieving look with a. ’He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, ‘When my garage door was open, did you see my Jaguar parked in there?’She smiled and said, ‘No, I didn’t. All I saw was an old minivan with two flat tires...Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: ‘Slim, I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?’ Slim says, ‘I feel just like a newborn baby.’ ‘Really!? Like a newborn baby!?’ ‘Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.’A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: ‘So I hear you’re getting married?’ ‘Yep!’ ‘Do I know her?’ ‘Nope!’ ‘This woman, is she good looking?’ ‘Not really.’ ‘Is she a good cook?’ ‘Naw, she can’t cook too well.’ ‘Does she have lots of money?’ ‘Nope! Poor as a church mouse.’‘Well, then, is she good in bed?’ ‘I don’t know.’ ‘Why in the world do you want to marry her then?’ ‘Because she can.
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