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Like I'd finally let out a huge mass of corrosive goo that had been eating away at me. I felt light, and strangely free, relaxed in a way I hadn't felt in a long time. Even my hornyness had subsided. I slept like a rock after Kay tucked me in.Unfortunately, the feeling didn't last. When I awoke on Monday, I was nervous again. I realized that I'd have to see John, never mind the fact that all I wanted to do was see John. I was worried what that would be like. Would it be painful? Embarrassing? Exciting? Or my greatest fear, would it feel like nothing at all? Was what happened between us something that existing only for that moment? Or something deeper?Needless to say I was worthless at work, and unfortunately I'm not in a position where I could really hide out and be worthless for a few days. In fact, by Wednesday, my boss was asking if I was ok, or needed sometime off. I'd missed things, forgotten things, and messed up. Something I try very hard not to ever do. It was a shitshow, as. "She sent me one, too."Eddie flashed me a curious look and I suddenly felt nervous. I was afraid that he was going to ask me if he could read my letter. I didn't want to share it. Definitely not yet. It was from my mom, to me. It was mine. I could understand his curiosity, though. I was curious to know what his letter said, too. But, Eddie didn't ask to read it, and he didn't ask me if I wanted to read his. Instead, he literally lifted himself off the floor, looking tall again as he stood in the doorway, if not very comfortable."This is..." A lot," I finished for him. "You already said that."Eddie frowned at me. "Rory, you know... I have no idea what to say to you," he admitted, shaking his head. "I don't know what I'm supposed to say to you right now." He sounded disappointed about that."Maybe... you're not supposed to say anything," I said, when the silence seemed too awkward for too long. "Maybe this is the part where... I'm supposed to start yelling, and blame you for.
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