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An old guy in a nursing home was wandering around the facility when he noticed his across-the-hall neighbour, Mrs. McGillicuddy, sitting in the lounge. He thought he’d shuffle up to her and ask if she could guess how old he was, just to have a little fun. She replied “Drop your pants and let me see”. So he did, and she took a good, long look and announced “You’re 88 years old!” “Why, yes I am” the old man said. “That’s amazing! How could you tell?”“Well” she said “you told me this morning at breakfast”.A young lady is in the hospital for an operation. She says “Doc, how long after my operation will I have to wait until I can have sex again?” The doctor says “You know, Miss Stukowski, I have to admit you’re the first person who ever asked me that before a tonsillectomy!”One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Adam and Eve, but couldn’t find them. Later in the day God saw Adam and asked where he and Eve were earlier. Adam said “The morning Eve and I made love for the first time”.. “Stay still bitch or I’ll do it so hard you’ll bleed” she snarled at me. Her smile had gone, she was taking this very seriously. “Sorry” I cried out hoping she would take mercy. “Sorry Madam, you sissy” she said as a hand roughly grabbed my balls, squeezing them enough to hurt. I suppressed a squeal of pain, knowing the punishment would be worse. “Sorry Madam” I said quickly praying Danni would release her grip. She eased her hands slightly, just enough to stop the discomfort. “Good boy” she smiled at me, her hands still holding my balls but gentler now. She played with them for a minute, her soft touch keeping my still untouched penis rock hard. “I see you’re very excited tonight. Did you think you were getting some pussy?” “Yes Madam” I replied “Well you thought wrong” she moved her grip from my balls to my cock and squeezed it tightly. “The only hole getting fucked tonight is yours baby. If you’re lucky I might let you cum” she moved her hand slowly down, pulling back my foreskin.
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