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The place was nearly empty and I had not noticed when a grizzled man with a grey beard dropped into the chair across from me."It can't be that bad," he said. "It's my mother's best recipe."I raised an eyebrow and looked at him. "It's heavy and way to greasy for seafood. Add in the fact that the fish is overcooked so much that it's dry, and I'm afraid I now have a perfect understanding of why people aren't packing the place demanding lunch."The man looked a bit upset. "And I suppose you can cook better than that?" he said, rising up from his chair.I sighed and shook my head. "Look, I'm not here to fight. If you want proof, let me finish this, and I'll run your kitchen for dinner service tonight. After that, we can talk."The man looked at me and laughed. "A boy like you running the kitchen here? The men on the trawlers would pay to see this. Better be ready to fall on your face, sonny."Fifteen minutes later I was looking over an extremely filthy and disorganized kitchen and wondering. I leave the window and sit down on my bed. Just as I do, my mother bursts into my bedroom singing at the top of her voice, “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear-““For Chrissake!” I scream. “I’m seventeen. I’m not a baby anymore!”“I don’t care how old you are, darling,” she replies in a silly voice as though talking to a baby. “You’re still a little bubby boy in my eyes.”She’s always acting this way. She’s a teenager trapped inside a thirty-eight-year-old woman’s body. She’s absolutely bonkers. Usually, I’d find it funny, but today I’m really not in the mood.“So what’s the birthday boy got planned for today?” she asks as she sits down next to me on my bed.“Absolutely nothing, Mum,” I reply with a quiver in my voice, holding back tears.She can see I’m upset. She gives me a big hug, burying my face in her plump breasts. “Don’t get upset, darling, not on your birthday,” Mum says as she strokes the back of my head. “So you’re spending your birthday with me. It.
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