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Then my perm day in Miss Vicky's Salon wasat last finished.I didn't know whether to shed tears of pride at my having endured thistorture or to cry tears of humiliation at what my mother had subjectedme to in front of my friends. Or former friends.As I struggled with my feelings, everything overwhelmed me. I was at abreaking point. And I didn't know what that break would entail. Ilooked at my new hairstyle in the vanity mirror in the car. ElizabethTaylor had never had a more womanly hairdo. I was simply, a beautifulgirl. But I was a boy. An all-American, red blooded, baseball playing,girl chasing boy. Now I was that girl. My thoughts were a mess and Iwas about to explode.As soon as we got home, Father and Marie came to meet us in the livingroom. I looked at Father with questions in my eyes and even as he wasadmiring my hairdo, I could see that he knew that I had questions forhim. Marie giggled and patted my firm hair and made noises about howmuch she loved her first perm and how it. You set yourselves apart too much.You think your stiff upper lip makes you above the rest of us.Look at me ... I'm ME! I have Italian blood, Greek blood, a little Irish blood, and some Aborigine blood. What do you say to that?"The Englishman replied,"Awfully sporting of your mother, old chap!"This one is compliments of Misguided ChildA businessman was preparing to go on a long business trip, so he thought he'd buy his wife something to keep her occupied. He went to a sex shop and explained his situation. The man there said, ' Well, I don't know that I have anything that will keep her occupied for so many weeks, except ... the MagicPenis!'The husband said, 'The what'?The man repeated, 'The Magic Penis, ' and pulled out what seemed to be an ordinary dildo.The husband laughed, and said, 'It looks like a dildo!'The man then pointed to the door and said, ' Magic Penis, door!'The penis rose out of its box, darted over to the door and started pounding away at the keyhole. The whole door.
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