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I wasn’t prepared for that, a rush of energy through my body. My mind was just shut off. I don’t know if I fainted or not. It didn’t feel like fainting. It felt more like falling into some catatonic state of shock. God talked to me. He explained something, but I didn’t know what he said, until he snapped his fingers, the moment he snapped his fingers suddenly my catatonic state was over and I was myself again. I was feeling limp and dizzy, but like myself. God showed me a piece of black cloth. He said it were his underpants, that before he would show me his penis I would have to practice by touching a piece of fabric that had touched his penis. He handed it to me. The fabric seemed to glow in my hands, and just like with his shoe I wanted to rub it all over my body, I wanted to kiss it and put it in my mouth, I wanted to rub it in between my legs. ‘Go on then.’ God said. It was as if he took away all my boundaries, all my self respect. I felt like an animal almost, well. " Doesn't matter. I've graduated, this summer I turn eighteen, and I canmake my own choices. I don't know what my options are, but I knowthere's no way I can pretend anymore. Its killing me. They can decide ifthey'd rather have a dead son or a live daughter." Then a live daughter it will be."I turned at this, and saw my mom and dad standing in the doorway."You ... heard that?" I said, and my eyes began to tear up."We followed the two of you. For obvious reasons, we wanted to hear whyyou would do this." I'm sorry Mom and Dad ..." Well, you should be. If you've been feeling like this, why didn't youcome to us? Do we strike you as monsters that you didn't trust us? Dadasked."How could I say I've always felt like a girl, Dad. How could Idisappoint you by telling you I was not able to be a son for you?" The way you just did might have worked," Mom said. "We love you, we maynot have understood, but we'd never reject or hurt you." And if you'd come to me, or the school councillor, we would.
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