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I came home from Guy and Paul's that Monday, day fifteen since I had last seen Jesse to find music playing softly through the wall.'Morning comes and you don't want to know me anymore/For a moment your eyes open and you know/All the things I ever wanted you to know... 'He was back.There had been nothing but silence through the wall. Either he had been creeping about like a mouse in there or he hadn't been home at all. But now there was music playing. My music. I hadn't even tried to listen to my favourite band, every song reminded me of him. And now the boy I loved who ripped out a big chunk of my heart was playing my music as if nothing had happened. Numbness and pain were replaced by a flame hot liquid rage.How dare he? How dare he come into my life and make everything perfect and amazing and then screw it up? In that moment all sort of crazy thoughts flashed through my mind. Jesse was a liar, nothing horrible had ever happened to him, he was just waiting to get his rocks off,. Like I said he was quite large and it felt like I was being torn, when he finally got it inside me I thought for sure I must be bleeding everywhere. He started slow and asked me if I can handle it. I told him no and please hurry. He told me that this was going to take awhile, getting off twice always does he said. I guess it took in actuality 3 to 5 minutes, but it was the longest 3 minutes of my life. When he finally got off he was pumping very hard and grabbed my hair. He immediately pulled out of me and pulled me by the hair and pushed my mouth on his cock. Obviously his dick was messy with grease, cum and shit. He said clean it and get used to this because its how you will clean it every time. When I was done he climbed back in his bunk and went to sleep. I cleaned up the best I could and sat crying.The next day I was depressed, embarrassed and had thoughts of killing myself. He was nice to me, asked me if I was ok. He tried to get me involved in conversation. I finally asked him.
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