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. you think socks are too formal for a Summer serviceyou think the Holy Trinity is “reduce, reuse and recycle”when you watch Jaws you root for the shark (“Hey, sharks have to eat too!”)you think “Whatever” is a valid theological pointyou think a Holy day of Obligation is your turn to bring coffee hour treatsyou know at least two people who are upset that trees had to die for your church to be built.Q: What is a Unitarian Universalist?A: Someone who believes in life before death.A: An atheist with children.A: Just a Quaker with Attention Deficit Disorder.A: Someone who approaches every question with an open mouth.A: Unitarian means one, and Universalist means everything, so a UU is someone who believes in one of everything.Arguing with a Unitarian Universalist is like mud-wrestling a pig: Pretty soon you realize the pig likes it.A Unitarian Universalist died, and to his surprise discovered that there was indeed an afterlife. The angel in charge of these things told him, “Because you. “Get the hip bath girl there’s water boiling on the hob.”“Get it yourself I’m not a scullery maid.” the girl snapped.“You’re a fesity little one now you’re away from his Reverence,” I opined.“He beats me and pushes his great thing up my bottom,” she said, “And makes me take his disgusting thing in my mouth and suck the slime from it. I really hate him, he’s no reverend he is the devil himself!”“In that case you may suck my cock while cook gets the bath,” I offered.“I will not!” she replied.“And where is your deference?” I asked, “You should address me as My Lord.”“All are equal in the sight of god,” she said.“Very well,” I agreed, “You may call me Master and I will call you Vagina, because you are nothing but a cunt to me.”“Should call her Cunt then,” Cook suggested.“One cunt in the kitchen is quite enough Cook you old cunt,” I laughed and then ordered, “My bed bathed perfumed one hour, and find her a corset and a silk nightdress.”I took a turn around the garden and looked across.
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