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’ That was partially true. I couldn’t think of where I was or what I was thinking, but the past several minutes were much like a particular time with Robert when I intentionally bent down from the hips to pick up a scrap piece of something off my kitchen floor and he drove me to the table, ripped my pants down, bent me over the table and fucked me like two pit bulls in heat. But unlike Robert, Michael brought me back to the way we usually connected post-coloitally — tenderly, lightly and lovingly. I cracked a smile, knowing I was in a safe place with him. ‘I wasn’t expecting that from you,’ I said, wrapping my arms around his still-clothed body. He smiled, kissed me on the lips, held me close, and said, ‘I’ve learned not to expect anything when I’m with you, even in my best laid plans. Speaking of best laid plans, we need to get cleaned up and dressed up. There’s a plate of oysters and a couple of flutes of champagne waiting for us in the lobby bar.’ To anyone passing us by in the. It was comforting. "Sorry, it still stings, so unfair for her, for me, for everyone who knew her." I said I needed to stop this. I wanted to hear more about her life and talk about happier things. "No, you need to talk it out, that is part of the healing process, so talk, " she commanded. She was right, I had never really come to terms with my loss and blamed myself for moving back to Chicago. "If we had stayed in New England, she might still be alive," I said. "I wouldn't have been driving on the Dan Ryan and that awful accident would not have happened." I was sobbing uncontrollably, now. She was holding me tightly, kissing my head. "Let it all out, my sweet man, it's ok to cry." I was feeling so vulnerable, yet so relieved to be able to cry. I had not since the funeral. "Come with me, David," she said as she directed me to her bedroom. "Remember this room," she asked? "It looks a little different, but yes, I remember," I replied. She turned and kissed me. I was not expecting that..
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