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Was she serious? That would be like choosing between famine or feast. No fucking contest. As far as I was concerned, Mom could lick my dick and kiss my balls until the cows come home. But I didn't want her to think I was so obviously pathetic or anything, "Gee, I'm not sure. Whatever you do is fine by me, Mom." "So you want me to blow you?" Absolutely." Why is that not a surprise," said Mom dryly as she took a sip of water from the bottle she was carrying, "Another thing, Henry. Be careful when you put your thing in my mouth. No trying to shove it down my throat," Seeing my initial confusion, Mom put her hands on her hips, "Despite what they say in those magazines of yours," she warned me, "Not all women can swallow a large penis no matter how hard they try."Oh. Okay. I stood there and gave her the double thumbs up. Now there's a thing. Best not say anything. Just nod like you're listening and taking in what she's telling you. But I needed to be sure about something. "Uh, Mom. About. ..I've seen the pictures!”“It's not funny, Mike. Well, it wasn't then, I can assure you! And he still undresses me with his eyes every time we go to see him. That's why I never go to see him on my own. The last time we were there, he followed me into the kitchen and stroked my arse. I gave his hand a good slap, but didn't say anything to you, to avoid trouble”“The randy old bugger! 75 and still horny! Well, you'll be safe enough with me there! Let's give it some thought and see what we can come up with. Not just taking him down the pub, I mean. Something a bit different.” When he arrived home from work, Mike told Jan that he'd had an idea for Ted's birthday. He had a big smirk on his face when he said it, so she said“C'mon then, what is it? I know that look!”“Well, there'll be just me, you and him, and I'll get there early, then you suddenly appear as …..as...his birthday strippergram!” Mike said, grinning.“What? No bloody way!” Jan shouted.“No, listen, calm down and listen. I'll be.
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