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We chatted for a little while and I made sure to mention that I lived within walking distance and that I had a fat new bag of weed. When the bar closed I made sure Ralph and I ran into each other on the way out. I invited him to swing by to smoke a joint and he eagerly accepted. We stopped and picked up a couple of six-packs of Dos Equis at a convenience store and then headed on for my place. After we got stoned I steered the conversation to sex. Ralph told me that thanks to a bad marriage and a not so friendly divorce he’d been single for a year or so and hadn't had any pussy for a while. I seized the opportunity and told him, “I haven't had any pussy or cock for a while either.” Almost choking on his beer, he stammered, "Dude, you go both ways?” I told him, “I only date women but I like to suck cock every once in a while.” I decided to go for it. “I saw your big cock in the men’s room and I’d love to suck it.” Instead of answering he asked, “Have you got any tequila?” I poured. Today is cold and lifeless. I am stuck once again amongst the flawed persons of life, the ones that could not handle the pains of reality. Many here at one time or another have tried to end their lives, and the lifelessness they feel is a direct result of their inability to stay within certain limits of their own. Life is like a box. We cannot run away from it. We stay within these boxes and finally grow sick and tired of them. Within our boxes we have our religions, and look what has happened, like dominoes falling from one end to the other.When I try to convince these cohorts of mine that life is much too simple to take their own lives, I get mysterious grins and suspicious eyebrows. We are indeed trapped within a box, the mental box where we gamble with chemical hormones and imbalances, like chips in a poker game.There is a small toddler named Nicholas. He is here with his father who decided to ingest large doses of fentanyl. He wanted more meaning and substance from his life. His.
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