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I was amused at the looks on the trainers’ faces when the man with a limp and a stick raced round the weights and the cross-trainers. At the cabin, on its porch on sunny days and inside when it rained, I caught up on reading a number of novels I had been promising myself for weeks, and on entering on my laptop the accumulated dictated diary notes for the previous few weeks. I had continued to recite each day’s events into my recorder ever since Trish suggested it. and from time to time remembered to transfer the entries into my laptop diary, though I had been lax of late. It had the effect of crystallising my thoughts and ideas about Ann and Derek and the situation in which I found myself. In the evenings we played board games or watched DVDs of various films. We ate at the restaurant some evenings, which gave me a break. On the journey back home, our car contained four very satisfied and contented people. I in particular had found that we had bonded more closely than before. Stef. All of these emotions came crashing down on me each morning when I realized that Jack had not really been there. That it had all been a dream. Intellectually I knew what had been happening every night wasn't real, it was just that... it 'seemed' so real.The first night that it happened, had been a week after Jack died. Of course, we hadn't made love for the last 6 months of his life, he was just too sick. That first night I just chalked my dream up to a vivid imagination and my sadness mixed with guilt at having finally lost my husband and lover to cancer.But then came the next night and the sex was even more intense. No matter how hard I tried, I never seemed to be able to tell what time it was when Jack came to me, or even were we were. It was as if we were in another world and the only thing of importance was that we were together, making love to each other without a care in the world. Just like it used to, just like in our College days, when we had first met.After the first.
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