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One of the few things I have some control over is my hair, I can styleit almost anyway I want, as long as I don't cut it, my mother takes meto get it trimmed every so often."Come on, we gotta go," Jim said to me. "See ya later Mom."We each grabbed a Pop Tart and went towards the door.My mother said, "Okay, have fun. Be a good girl Bobbie." Yes Mam," I said as I walked out the door."Sir, my I ask where we're going?" I asked my brother as we walked upthe driveway."No," he said. "Now shut up, I don't want to hear another word out ofyou."I didn't say anything.A car came up the road and Jim said, "Okay Bobbie, just stay silentuntil I tell you otherwise."I was kinda scared when the car pulled up to the driveway. I have nevergone anywhere with my brother before, not without at least one of myparents. When the car stopped I saw Jake in the front passenger seat,there was some guy that I never saw before driving. Jim opened the backdoor and pushed me in, then he got in.Jake said, "Sorry we were. I shared it with my eldest son; he suggested I post it on an online site. The story could be read for others for free and I might get some feedback. Though he did suggest I convert to Times New Roman font. I thanked him for his suggestions and made the font change. I didn't even mind the implied criticism.I posted the story, it was a little out of place because the site specializes in erotica, but they allowed about anything legal to be posted.It was up for less than eight hours and I started getting emails. Most were complimentary but several with some sincere criticism. I went back and did a thorough spell and punctuation check, and fixed some run on sentences, also paragraphs were too long. One person pointed out that I was being unrealistic on how long I was having my character hit a golf ball, the story was a fantasy but hey he was right about it being unrealistic, and he had brought it up politely so no reason not to make a change. After making those corrections I reposted the.
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