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Nothing we did last night was repulsive to me in any way. In fact, what I felt making love with you was how truly connected we were and the warmth of love that comes from a man who I know loves me completely.”She went on to describe her own concerns. That she had irreparably harmed our marriage. That in a moment of stupidity she had hurt me beyond anything I or she could bear.We talked for hours. I’d like to say that we solved all of the issues that bothered both of us, but that would be complete fantasy. Life is by far more complex. Although you can give loving reassurance on your partner's insecurities, self-doubt once again will creep in again and again. It takes many talks over much time to keep those monsters at bay.Peace only comes when you’re in the arms of the one you love. When they hear your worst inner fears and insecurities and still love you with all their heart. Often, words will get in the way. The truth of their love is felt through the touch between your bodies. It’s. Then there was the problem of AIDS. Those 'girls' he did encounter were usually prostitutes, or at the very least, were party girls with whom he could never feel safe.What could he do?Through groups on the Internet he found that there were a number of respected, successful men who shared both his desires and his fears. It took years to identify a handful of people who could be trusted, but eventually a small group of like-minded men decided that what was needed were 'girls' who had no background as such. Who would be virgins, and yet who would be enthusiastic and monogamous lovers. Who could pass as women in any company. How could this be done?By coincidence Jack was offered a chance to work on a government sponsored research project. It was for one of the more obscure intelligence agencies and it was into behaviour modification. He would ordinarily have turned them down. Such projects might sometimes become public many years later, doing great harm to the participants..
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