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I’m taking time out of my busy day—very busy in the Oval Office, you know—to extend my congratulations. We’ve planned a little press conference for you here at the White House. After that’s done, you’ll be escorted to the Lincoln bedroom where my daughter will be waiting for you to reenact your miraculous conception. Once that’s done, you’ll have a line of pussy around the world waiting for you. It’s a great day for America.”“Uh ... No.”“Now don’t worry about a thing. We’re getting experts here to help you keep the equipment in top condition. The rest of us can only envy you. You have a good day now and we’ll get started right tomorrow.”“No!” Jack shouted at the dial tone. “No,” he whimpered.“No what, Jack?” I asked.“No, I’m not going to sleep with the president’s daughter. Or anyone else! I’m married. I have a wife and a baby. I’m not going to start sleeping around on her just because I have sperm,” Jack was becoming more and more agitated. “I won’t do it. I’ll cut off my own junk. Sheer."I stared at her and said, "Hi."The rest of the company's workers soon started to make their way into theoffice. They sat at their desks and did their work. I did the same. After an hour had past, I closed the door to my office. I pulled my heelsoff my feet, and I continued to look over the various reports that hadbeen given to me by my secretary. I kept running over the numbers, andthe hours slowly passed. My monotonous activities were then disrupted bylunch time. Some of the workers stayed in the office, but I placed on myheels and walked outside. I walked down to the neighborhood deli, and mythighs started to burn with pain. I ordered a hero and started backtowards my office. I walked down the crowded sidewalk, and my eyes werequickly drawn to a nearby liquor store. I had never been able to buy alcohol before, and the temptation was toomuch to suppress. I walked into the store and stared at the variousbottles of liquor that were sitting on the many shelves that ran alongthe.
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