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It wasn't long before a police officer pulled up behind me. He got out of his car and started walking toward me. I could tell he was not a happy camper!"What's going on here?" My car has a flat tire." I said calmly."Well," he asked, "what are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?"I couldn't believe that he didn't know - so I told him, "Hellooo! Those are my emergency flashers!"This one is compliments of RabbiRabbitA businessman in the first class cabin decided to chat up the drop dead, gorgeous flight attendant."What is your name?"Flight Attendant: "Angela Benz, sir"Businessman: "Lovely name ... any relation to Mercedes Benz?"Flight Attendant: "Yes sir, very close"Businessman: "How close?"Flight Attendant: "Same price"Absolutely clever and oddly truthful this ought to take some of the curse out of it.THE PULITZER COLONOSCOPYABOUT THE WRITER: Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.Colonoscopy Journal:I called my friend Andy Sable, a. You've lost your memory, but I've suspected for a long time that your father beat you when no one was looking. It would explain so many things. No matter how I tried to pry things out of you, I might as well have been talking to a tree limb." She smiled when she said that. It made me think there was a tree story in David's past that made her laugh."As far as I know, you have no friends, no girls that interest you, no hobbies that you can't do alone, no problem with school work, and no interest in extra-curricular activities. We're going to get you your driver's license this week. For the past year you've driven on your learner's license, with me in the car. You've looked forward to getting your sixteen-year-old license privileges, as soon as possible."What we've never told you, and has caused your father no end of frustration, is that your grandfather left money in escrow and instructions in his will that you get a car when you turn sixteen. While we're out getting your license.
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Reaching her hand out and touching his leg, Lily said, “Listen, Mitch. Bre and I are, or maybe I should say that we were, extremely close. We are both highly sexual people who learned about the ways of the world together. We have never had secrets. We have shared everything. I think that I brought her to her first real orgasm and I know that she brought me to mine.” Mitch was quite surprised at her openness and said, “Really. You were sexual partners?” “Now don’t be thinking that we were ever gay. That would be far from the truth. We were both wondering about sex when we met and helped each other to the answers. I doubt that there is anything that lesbians do that we haven’t done, but there was never any question that what we did was done for fun and our mutual need for an orgasm. In our senior year we had a rule that you couldn’t leave the apartment until you’d had an orgasm. Sometimes we masturbated and sometimes we ‘helped’ each other, but we never broke the rule.” Now he was even.

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