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There was no way to avoid contact. I was amazed the airline had not required her to purchase a second ticket. ‘Please long sleeve shirt… save me!’ I thought. I made very sure that my hands stayed as far away as possible from Ms. Obesity 2012 but had not counted on the one other bit of exposed flesh. You see, Ms. Obesity could not get the seat belt around her waist, so she reached up to call the flight attendant. The flab of her arms rolled like a tsunami with her movement and her bare arm brushed against the top of my head. There needs to be a law prohibiting the sale of sleeveless blouses to anyone over a certain body fat percentage. ‘Excuse me…. Oh…. Oh my…’ I saw her eyes go out of focus. I swore then that, if I got out of this, I would buy a burka and only appear in public dressed as a strict Muslim woman. I later learned that the effect of the pheromones is much stronger the longer a woman has gone without sex. I could imagine it had been a very long time for this woman, if. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"And God, again saw that it was good.On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"And God agreed that it was good.On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?" Okay," said God, "You asked for it."So that.
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