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“I never believed him, not completely. He knew I knew they found Jesus a few months before I was born. Right when they tied the knot. The inference he wanted me to make was that he’d paid to conceive me.” “Oh,” I said. “What a dick!” “I’m over it,” she said. “Apparently not,” I said, waving at the whole place we were in. “I mean, if the theory is right.” “That’s the thing. There really isn’t any one thing or experience. I was sixteen at the time and a late bloomer. I’d just finished growing these,” she lifted her breasts up, unselfconsciously. I noticed the bartender checking her out. “I got my first boyfriend around then, Randal Pendergrass. Good church boy and popular. Mom was so pleased with me, she let me use her car to go on dates with him. If she only knew!” “You banged?” “He never touched me, but he wanted me to touch him. Everywhere. We kissed and made out a lot. I always made sure he had a good time, usually right into my mouth.” Rachel looked sheepish. “That explains a. I mean, I don't know why she's telling me this, but I'm just trying to be like, y'know, polite." 'My dad was the same age as Brooks Robinson, ' she tells me, 'almost right to the day. And he used to play third base when he was young, just like Robinson. 'Course he wasn't, y'know, great like Brooksie, but the point is, he was a third baseman, and he was a huge Brooks Robinson fan, and, oh God, we didn't even live in Baltimore, but he loved the Orioles all his life!'" 'Yeah, well. I'm real sorry about your dad, ' I tell her." 'Reason I'm talking to you like this, ' she says, 'I wanted to ask you to do something for me. Something important. I would pay you —- very well —- to do it, and there wouldn't be any risk involved or anything.'" So I says to her, 'What? What do you want done?'" She looks around the bar to be sure nobody's listening, and says to me, 'I want you to scatter some of my father's ashes in Camden Yards. At third base. You know -- next to third base? Where the third.
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