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I fell apart out of nowhere, hard as I fought against it. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. But, I couldn't hold myself together in the face of never being with her. Now she was on top of me in bed anyway and I don't think either of us knew where it was leading.After I had told her how I felt and she told me she couldn't return my feelings, I tried to step away, giant heaves shaking my body. She pulled me in and shushed me. "Joy, Joy, no no no babe, it's ok. Shhhh, it's ok." I'm sorry, I don't mean to make it weird I'm just..." I couldn't even finish the sentence, the saltiness of my broken heart dripping into my mouth.Her arms came around me, a sweet hug pulling me into her. "Shhhh, no. I love you, you know I do. I just don't know how to give you what you need. It's not in me." I know, it's ok. I don't expect..." again the heaves took me. I'd never felt like this for a girl before. It was overwhelming."Hey," she touched my lips with her finger and it calmed me a bit. "It's. I was given a little red piece of paper that had the name 'big sister Amy" written on it. The Mistress of the House who is the charge showed me who Amy was and Mercedes and myself followed her to a bedroom on the first floor. I thought that my room mate Ashley was beautiful, well Amy was model pretty and had the sexiest little tight body I had ever seen. She was like a perfect size 2. Translation for men: she probably weighed between 99-105 lbs. I hadn't weighed 100 lbs. since middle school. As Mercedes and myself entered the room, Amy told me to close and lock the door. My heart sank, I have never been so scared in my life. Even though I had no idea what was about to happen I knew it wasn't going to be good. Or maybe it would be good? I had a million thought running through my mind. Amy told me and Mercedes to take off our clothes and Mercedes asked her why? Amy responded "I am going to teach you how to be real sisters". Amy told me to sit on the edge of the bed and I.
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