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I don't know how you could avoid feeling contempt. I should be ashamed of considering leaving a world as beautiful as this one. But I despise myself when I consider that I cannot manage to live one single day without feeling I'm a total and utter disgrace and causing problems for the other people around me.I know you get furious with me. It seems like I want you to show a strong emotion, because I do it to you so often, almost every day. Why is that? I start the argument and then I cannot stop. I spend an hour trying to think of a way to apologize and it does me no good, because the next time I see you, I just want to do something to make you smile.After this morning, I think I finally understand lust. That's probably what has kept me here longer than I should have stayed. Is that what it is? Or is it more than simple lust? I am not experienced enough to know.I am surprised at the welcome I feel from the people in this little town. When I was staying with your Aunt Jean, I even. She walked around me and nodded. Obviously I passed muster. “Come” she said and led me to a bathroom. “Go in there, give yourself an enema and shower” she said. I immediately went in and flushed out my neither region and showered. I came out fresh and clean and with an erection. She just glanced at my cock but said nothing. Again she told me to follow her and we walked into what would have been a bedroom. I got quite a shock. I was expecting to be alone with her but there were already two people in the room. The room was furnished with an “X” against the back wall and strapped to it was a guy completely naked. In the centre of the room was a sort of bench about three foot tall and spread face down was a naked female. Around her waist was a large strap holding her down. “I have some tasks for you” my Mistress said “one hesitation or reluctance and you will be banished. Do you understand?” “Yes Mistress” I replied. My cock was twitching looking at the naked woman. “That male over there.
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