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I had to poke her ass with a coat hanger to get her to come out. She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her downstairs and threw her out into the backyard! She'd better not shit in the vegetable garden again!"The silence in the Taxi was deafening.YES MARTHA, THERE ARE BLOND MEN TOOA friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do ... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."A blond man goes to the vet with his goldfish."I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet.The vet takes a look and says,. ”“I am fourteen,” I said.“Yes, and that’s what he’s paying top dollar for.”“Sure, fine,” I said. There wasn’t much question I was fourteen. I was short for even fourteen—and skinny—but I was starting to fill out in my chest and biceps. I worked out. I wanted people to stop saying I was almost too pretty to be a boy. My aunt who I lived with in Norfolk had sprung for a gym membership, trying to give me what I kept bugging her about on building myself up. Other than that, she pretty much left me alone. She didn’t know anything about raising kids. She just couldn’t let me go to a foster home when my parents were sent up for drug dealing.The gym was where I’d met Jake. That’s when life had begun for me—in the sauna of the gym with Jake feeling me up and then afterward, in his car, sticking it in me, doing his pushups on top of me. That’s when I’d come alive and... Jake was over there, on the dock, talking to a humongous black man. Was that him? Was that who Jake had been exchanging.
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