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I’d tighten my fist, my nails piercing my skin, hard, until I’d bleed, hating myself, hating my life, though no one ever noticed the cuts. Why was I cursed like this? I didn’t know, I’d never know. I knew I could never have you, that there would always be a wall between us, a wall that only I could see. Each time you visited, part of me wanted to hide, it hurt so much to see you. But I couldn’t help it. I loved you so much.One day you brought back a girlfriend. I figured you’d be getting busy in college but knowing for certain made it so much worse. I could hear you fucking through the walls, could hear the bedsprings straining and swaying, could hear you both trying to stifle the sounds of your sex as she moaned your name, Thomas, Tommy harder, faster, more, more, more. All I could think was that that should have been me in your bed. Me, feeling your head against my opening, poised to be my first, a gift that I’d never even considered giving to another man. Me, resting down on your. I took off the rubber holding my pony tail and let my hair lose which reached down to my shoulders. I went under the shower and as if I was relaxing, slightly spread my legs and arched forward holding myself with my palms against the wall. I let the warm water splash on my head as it slid to my back and through my ass cheeks. I knew I was giving him a hell of a show if he was looking.Now, I really wanted to know if he was watching me, so I slightly turned my head and through my half opened eyes, I could see him, not only that he was watching, but rubbing his cock that was all the way out with his sweat pants around his ankles. In a panic, I immediately turned away and shut my eyes tight. God, I got him!I stood in that position for a couple of more minutes, thinking about my next moves. I did not have to think much. I felt like I have done that a million times before in front of a million guys, all jacking off just by watching me.I turned down the water to a trickle, and grabbed a lot.
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