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He didn’t parry when she jabbed him with a tease. Soon, Janice got the message and kept the beers coming without the come-ons. Around ten o’clock, Tom needed another drink. No waitress had approached him for a while, and he didn’t want to get up. It was such a comfortable, padded stool, with a hard wooden back that dug into his spine enough to keep him awake. The people in the mirrors drifted with a hypnotic, slow motion. And then there was the whole full bladder dilemma that was about to become a crisis. Life got complicated. ‘Screw it.’ Tom stood up and held onto the table for a few seconds, until the floor stopped rolling. The path to the men’s room was twisty as a mountain path and almost as uneven. The relief of urinating felt just as rewarding as reaching a mountaintop, although the view not nearly as fine. Graffiti at eye level read: ‘Why are you looking at this? The joke is your hand.’ ‘Ha, ha. That’s so fucking original.’ Tom left the men’s room and headed for his stool.. (It should be pointed out that Alice’s knowledge of the male anatomy was mostly theoretical. In truth, while she was aware of the difference between the male and female of the species, it had mostly been gained from anatomy books and lately, in lurid romance novels. In other words, while she was aware of penises and how they worked, she had never actually seen, let alone touched, one. In other words, she was a virgin.)“I am afraid I have yet to find something suitable to wear,” she told him apologetically. “If you would be kind enough to give me a few moments more, I promise I’ll-“Alice stopped suddenly, her small hands flying to cover her mouth, her eyes widening as the triangular crimson cloth that covered his manhood gave way. Apparently the strain was much too much for it. She stared at it in fascination and horror. Fascination because it was the first time she’d actually seen a gentleman’s genitalia. Horror because, despite the many times she’d read about pirates ravishing.
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