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The next morning over breakfast I ask mom if I can use the car to go to the mall. She tells me no because she still needs my help. While she's cleaning up the kitchen, I get the transmitter, put the ear buds in my ears and turn the thumb wheel. After about ten seconds I hear a steady tone. I press the button and watch mom for a reaction."Mom?" I say from behind her as she's leaning over the sink."Yes?" She says turning around."Raise your hand high in the air." I say, wondering if she'll think I'm crazy."Okay, Nick." She answers, raising her hand. Wow! I decide to try a post transmission suggestion."Mom, next time I ask to use the car to go to the mall, say yes, give me the keys and twenty dollars spending money, okay?" Okay, Nick." She says. I press the button on the device again and the tone stops."What was I doing?" Mom looks confused. "Oh yeah, the dishes." She says, turning around."Mom, can I use your car to go to the mall?" I ask her."Sure," she says getting her keys out of her. I could have cancer, or be a quadraplegic, or a World Wrestling Federation fan. And you’re right. But if I said, ‘Yippee, hooray for Vanessa, she’s the sexiest girl a guy ever got to share his island paradise with,’ I’d be kicked out of the Ernest Hemingway Fan Club, and the story would have no dramatic tension, beginning as it would be, where it is supposed to end. Now just because a guy is all alone on an island with no women, doesn’t mean that he doesn’t sometimes think about them, which is exactly what I was doing when Vanessa turned up out of the blue, as if God could read my mind. There I was tanning my already nut-brown 45-year old carcass on the beach. Since I had no reason to believe that any other humans were in the vacinity I was sky-clad, barefoot all over, dressed as nature intended… Yeah, all right. I’ll get to the point. Now a guy who has spent five years free from the company of women, is likely, when his mind does turn to the subject of the fair sex, to get the most.
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