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.. have to go home and use the bathroom.”“Why can’t you use ours?”“Well ... I have this condition ... it requires me to take special salts when I go to the bathroom.”“Special salts? Can’t you take them here?”“I guess I could ... it’s just that...”“No arguments. Mi casa su casa.”“Really? Wow, I love this bar.”The new guy heads for the bar’s men’s room and after a few minutes he returns to his barstool, but before resuming the conversation he makes an announcement.“Thank you for welcoming me to this fine establishment I’ve not felt this welcome in a long time. Bartender, I would like to but a round for the house.”“You got it. Hey everybody. The new guy has bought a round for the house.”As the locals were dinking and chatting, the neighborhood drunk came staggering into the bar and wanders off to the men’s room. A few seconds later there is an ear-shattering scream and the drunk comes running out of the men’s room, runs to the bar, reaches over and grabs the bartender by the front of his. "The mail arrived during lunch, and Bill noticed again what a grade-A ass the mail carrier had.It wasn't until he heard his wife scream that he remembered the package. Struggling to his feet, he heard the door slam shut.Finding the torn remains of the packaging scattered over the kitchen floor, he found the sculpted ass, puckered and sliced with scissors. Now sticking out of one realistic, detailed ass cheek was a pencil. Attached was her simple, concise note.Fuck You. I'm leaving.Thou Shall Not Take The Name Of The Lord In Vain"Jesus Fuckin' Christ!" he yelled, waving his arms. Trying to stop her. "Come back here, you bitch!"What the fuck does she think she's doing?Staring at the quickly receding tail lights, Bill knew things would change. The world most definitely had to be made right.It had been his idea, his plan, his ass on the line. His score.And there she goes, with her pimped up Latino plaything.Fuck that.Jumping over the limp body of the hero bank guard, still leaking blood.
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