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I cupped her cheeks when I reached her, stroking her. “You don’t ever have to be afraid of your father or brother again. I’m protecting you now. I love you.”“Mom!” she said, her eyes shining. She was such a beauty. I could see why my husband lusted after her.A strange, jealous itch shot through me. I was the woman my husband once lusted for. When we first married, the first time I stripped naked for him, he had stared at me with such boyish lust. I felt so loved at that moment. Despite my fear of having sex, the way he stared at me made me feel like a woman, made me ready for him. I found pleasure in it then.It had been so long since I’d experienced pleasure with him. I was just a hole for my husband to rut in, when he wasn’t fucking someone else. When he wasn’t coming closer and closer to violating our daughter. He wanted her so badly.How long would it have been before he lost control?A razor buzzed from the bathroom.“Mother,” my son said, his voice quivering. “What .... “You were first who did,” she said. “Most of the guys – shit, what am I saying – all of the guys I had been with were worried about exactly one of us getting off. And every time, only one of us did. And it was never me.”“Melanie, I’m confused,” I said honestly. “Then why?”“I had to become an adult to realize that I did not believe that I deserved to be that way. My reason for living was to have guys get off,” she explained after if describing a TV show. “But when I came that first time, with you, I realized that there something more to this sex thing. I wanted more than sex.”“But you never spoke to me again,” I said.“You didn’t want more than sex,” she said. “Not that I blamed you, but all of a sudden guys who wanted a cheap lay weren’t on my agenda. I was done with all of you.”“But...” I wanted to tell her that I wasn’t just looking for sex; I was a lonely guy who wanted someone to hold close. I considered whether or not it was worth it to tell her that now.“So who did you find?” I.
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