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I'm not certain that I fully accepted it as I crossed the room to the front door. But I knew it as soon as the door opened and I saw his arrogant face. He apparently reached that conclusion before I did!Now I'm demonstrating my surrender to him by complying with his outrageous commands. Now he knows I'll do what he demands of me. Now he knows he's going to have sex with me. He knows that I'm going to let him rape me. And I don't care what Jimmie says, it's going to be rape. I'm not doing these things of my own free will. When it takes place it will not be a consensual sex act.I have to acknowledge to myself now that I've opened the door; now that I'm actually unbuttoning my dress in the doorway, that I'm going to let him have sex with me. But it will be rape just as surely as if he's holding me down and tearing my clothes off. I have no choice. I'm being forced by the leverage he has over us to submit to him. But just as telling, I'm forced by my fear of him.I stared at Gary's feet. Ethan and I broke our embrace."Let's go inside ok?" My mom looked pissed off.Once inside, a lot of the food remained as well as the beverages and a table was piled up high with gifts for Ethan. I felt really guilty.We went to the living room where mom and dad told us to take a seat on the couch in front of them. I kept my eyes down. I felt embarrassed and even though I loved my brother I felt shame for loving him."So Emma..." my mother began. I looked up at her and she sat back and crossed her legs. "What's going on? Care to explain?" I can explain," Ethan said."No! Emma, I'm asking YOU." My mother's voice boomed.I looked at my father who saw me and then looked away. "Um ... well ... Ethan and I ... were ... are in a relationship..." I held my breath to see what she would say.My mother eyed me angrily. "In a relationship? What do you mean?"She knew what I meant. She just wanted me to say it. "I-In l-love," I stammered.My mother sighed. "So you initiated this?"I was taken back. "What?".
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