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And it wasn't even the mating season for cows.We picked out a cute little brown calf with a white head and tail. She was gonna be it, like it or not. But I knew we were going to have a rough old time, whether those other fools realized it or not. It's no joke trying to catch a calf--even a little one--and no fun trying to hold her once you get her."And another thing," I told them. "Whichever one of these big bastards is her mother isn't gonna like it worth a damn when we start screwing around with her calf."Bessie laughed. "What can a cow do?" Listen, kid," I said. "When a wild-eyed cow comes charging at us, just don't stand in my way--okay?"Anyhow, we circled around this little old calf about three feet high and closed in on her from three sides, and it wasn't such a problem as I expected it would be. She bleated a couple of times and jumped sideways and fidgeted a little, but she must've been used to being man-handled, because she let Pedro and Bessie grab onto her without too much. I often dream that he holds me close as I feel his strength. I dream we make love as a normal heterosexual couple. I dream we do things together. I know he is a very caring and loving individual. I have a need to be with him. It is a new concept for me, but it feels right. My love for him is one reason I would get the surgery, but just one of the reasons. I really AM a woman inside. He would be the added bonus. Nice bonus, though.He has confided in me that occasionally he imagines himself to be female. It is not an all-consuming thing for him like it was for me before I finally made the decision to change. But I'm afraid that, like he once said, "the dam may break." If that happens I'll be there for him when the pronoun becomes "her." That may hurt me, but I do love him, so what he needs will come first.Over the last year or so I have met others like me and have begun friendships. One of these friends helped me work through some anger to find the love. I thank her for that debt that.
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