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He doesn’t know which friend I am visiting, he doesn’t wants to know. I behave so nicely in front of my family.I went under the shades of a tree. They came near me one by one. We sat down and had our lunch which we purchased from a good restaurant in the road. They poured the drinks in a glass. And we started talking. The talking became nasty. My driver wanted to have sex with me but never got any chance before. This was his first chance . as I got up and went in a corner which is not visible from the gate. I let my pallu drop.He hugged me tightly and we started to roll on the ground. There was deep kissing. He grabbed my blouse and opened it. Then he opened my bra. He kissed my breasts and fondled them. The others joined and started to suck my nipples. I was not pregnant after two years of marriage. They wanted my milk which I didn’t have. I said make me pregnant. You will get milk. I became completely naked. And he opened his pant chain and brought his dick out. He separated my. I cannot now or ever give birth.When she was pregnant my now ex-wife told me about how the baby wasmoving in her. Her description of what she was feeling inside herincluded a smile on her face that told me of the joy she wasexperiencing. I was happy for her and happy for me who was becomingthat child?s father, but I needed to experience that miracle from herperspective. Unless a miracle happens I will never experience the joyof knowing I am pregnant or feeling that baby kick or giving birth.My former supervisor told me that what I missed was no big deal, butshe had the choice and she gave birth. I never will. No one except afew that are like me that I have given love to and receive love backwill ever call me mom. I have given some of them strength. I have givensome of them the will to endure. I have given some of them the strengthto, as Shakespeare?s Hamlet put it, to be instead of not to be.Every night I ask G_d to do that miracle and allow them to really be mydaughters like they.
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