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As the male of the humanoid species accumulates years, there is a certain . . . <, ahem >, . . . diminishing of the . . . uh . . . full vigor of youth . . . This of course has not happened to me to any great significant effect. Not because I am extraordinary but rather because I am very athletic and I do take certain supplements. Let’s put it this way, I don’t need Viagra. Nonetheless, about ten years ago or so I decided to exploit of my years of advanced humanoid sexual studies and research. I began by modifying my diet to advantage my legendary sexual prowess . . . These days I max out on bananas (good for the banana), egg whites and pineapple juice (good for what comes out of the banana), oysters (I don’t have to explain THOSE do I?) Broccoli (puts lead in the pencil) and oranges – LOTS of oranges (improves the taste of what comes out of the banana). I compound this strict diet with heavy doses of vitamins, specifically vitamin D (for the Dick), vitamin C (for the Cock),. It was one week after our ninth anniversary when it all came apart. Diane was in Pittsburg with her boss and my car started acting up and I took it into the dealer to have it looked at. Rather than rent a car I took a cab over to Diane's office. She had ridden to the airport with her boss and had left her car in the company parking lot. I used my set of keys to unlock it and then drove it home.Diane and I had different tastes in music so I decided to take her music out of the CD player and put mine in. The CD unit was under the passenger's seat and I opened the back door and took a knee. I pushed the button on the player that ejected the cartridge that held the six CDs, put it on the floor and then slid my music into the slot. As I picked up Diane's CDs I saw something wedged between the driver's seat and the center console. I pulled it out and saw that it was a journal or diary of some kind. I opened it and on the flyleaf I read"Number 6. May of 04 to..."I had no idea that Diane kept.
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