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Some, being bold, tried to get me to dance. Still being a bastard I refused all comers. Then the newest and youngest assistant cautiously approaches. She is carrying a few extra pounds and showing a large amount of bosom. “Mr Johnson would you dance with me. Please?” She is a redhead, squeezed in to a little white dress. Nipples clearly pointing her way and the dress stopping 4 inches above her knee. Thought to myself ‘she had better be careful bending over’ she has no panty lines showing. I guess she is the same age as my gr---daughter or a year younger.“No. Please leave me…….” I replied.“Mr Johnson. Please. The other secretaries have had a bet” the young girl informs me. As I’m about to make another fool of myself my PA touches my arm. Looking at her beautiful (the PA’s) face she says, “A least hear Joanna out.” My PA then provocatively walks across the dance floor. Eventually tearing my eyes from my PA’s stunning ass I see Joanna’s innocent face.“Well?” I offer.She hesitantly. He swung at the ball, and it sailed effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup three hundred and fifty yards away. A picture perfect hole-in-one. He was amazed and excited. The angel was a little shocked. He turned to God and said, “Begging Your pardon Sir, but I thought you were going to punish him.” God smiled. “Think about it -- who can he tell?”She’s Apple’s MateWhat do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish? A crab apple!Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York? She fell for the Big Apple!Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard? Someone told him he should get an apple MacHow do you make an apple turnover? Push it down hill.What kind of apple isn’t an apple? A pineapple.What did the apple say to the apple pie? “You’ve got some crust.”If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do? Keeps everyone away.What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple? Worm your way out of that one, then!Why.
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