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My mother sat me down and spelled out the “Facts of Life”. I learned how babies were made. The only man I wanted to be my mate was Santa.While other girls were dating boys, I kept to myself, making toys. I would fantasize about the big man taking my virginity under the small Christmas tree my father scraped together to buy each year. I would come so hard, I had to bury my face in my pillow, so my parents would not hear.On Christmas Eve, I would drink coffee, to stay up and see Santa. But it didn’t help. I still fell asleep before he arrived. I realized that Santa was not ready to see me yet. I had to trust that he would let me see him when he was ready.On the eve of my sixteenth birthday, I kept my usual vigil in the living room. I always decorated it extra special, with ornaments I had made, decorating the tree, and a dozen holly-scented candles illuminating the small room. I did not try any of the tricks to stay awake that I had before. I was content to wait until Santa was. I was upset because I thought she'd taken thewhole day off, and this left me back to my original plan of mopingaround the apartment with a beer or two until she came home.Six o'clock she hadn't come home. I didn't expect her that early on anormal day, but I'd exhausted new stories on my favourite sites on thenet, wasn't in the mood for pictures, and didn't have any mates onlinefor games yet. Seven o'clock I'd expected a call. Eight came andnormally I would have expected her back or calling me to get somedinner ready for when she did arrive. At nine I was worried. I wasshowered, shaved, ready to get dressed to go out. Half an hour laterthe phone rang."Jess? Where are you? What's up?" Oh, Dean," she was barely speaking above a whisper, "we're introuble." Trouble? What's up? What trouble?" It's Joe, he's found out."I waiting for more, but she seemed to expect me to know something fromthat. "Joe, your boss is Joe? I thought it was Stephen." Dean! Don't be funny. Joe. My husband. Joe.".
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