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"What is the occasion?" the assistant asked after the pause became too awkward."A dress-up party.Suits and lavish dresses," Melinda explained lamely"It's usually a mix of semi-historical black-tie and fancy dress."Then it struck her."Of course, no-one says only the men can wear suits.I mean, it's sort of fancy dress." Sorry?" the assistant asked, puzzled."Do you think you could find a suit that would fit me?With a hat too," Melinda added, suddenly beaming.Whatever else she might have thought about the assistant, he at least had manners and knew that the customer was always right.Even when she was amad woman."Certainly," he said, without any sign of surprise, and led her over to the suits.* * *Jake sat on his bed flicking through his stash of porn magazines, his trousers unzipped and his cock protruding from his underwear.All the womenwere identical, dyed blondes with fake breasts, perfectly small bodies and shaven pussies.Nothing took his fancy, despite feeling in the mood forsome. Dragging and scraping on her scurvy inner flesh. Caressing at that unmapped and uninvestigated place labelled g-spot in the instruction manual. Why I ask myself given an entire alphabet and a keyboard full of numerics and punctuation did she ever choose ungrateful you? I gave it a little go myself. Dragging your tip across my throbbing and swollen clit over and over. Thrusting your entirety into my sopping sex. Pressing your squidgy flesh into my pulsing bum hole. Suckling you clean in the vain hope of attaining some oral pleasure. What a pathetic and forgettable experience. Eventually I just had to grab a tilde and an exclamation mark and dp myself to blissful release. Fuck that tilde knows how to show a girl a good time. Probably why nobody ever uses them. Far too busy stuffing them into their grateful orgasming cunts to ever consider trying to squeeze them into a sentence. As for you, Ms Comma, that's it, I'm finished with you. I've squeezed a couple of you into the last sentence.
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