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“Fear of pain is what make you hesitate,” he would say, “Learning that pain is momentary, a signal that something may be wrong, places you in control,”And then he would have me do exercises until I thought I was going to die.My subsequent instructors only expanded on my knowledge. It wasn’t until I found myself in the Sand Box that I learned the next big lesson. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you have to kill.I was wondering if I was going to have to kill here.They hadn’t made their move yet. I didn’t understand why. The time let me drop deeply into a focused trance. I hadn’t needed to do this since my time in Iraq.First, disconnect from your emotions. There is no fear, there is no love.Second, let your mind drift, focus on nothing and everything.Third, let your body relax. Stiff muscles are slow muscles. Become like flowing water that offers no resistance, and finds paths through all things.Breathe deeply. Exhale slowly.They moved in a coordinated manner. I let out a war cry,. Sasha already a year patiently courted me, and at last I wished to add to my list of victories this boy virginity. At that evening I was dressed more erotically than usual. Instead of skirt the black evening dress was on me, well combined with my blonde hair, black nylon stockings with garter belt and pink high-heeled shoes. As always in such cases, from me emanated the fragrance of my favourite French perfume Chanel # 5 Grand Extrait.We found a bench among the huge neglected shrubs and sat down. We chatted about various nonsense about 30 minutes, I laughed coquettishly and made eyes for Sasha. But it was obvious that the lad was afraid of decisive action. At last in the middle of our conversation Sasha suddenly hugged me awkwardly with both arms and kissed my lips. It was seemed to me as if he was doing this if not for the first, but at most for the second time in his life. It was evident that he was shocked by this his first or second kiss, and he was beside himself with bliss.I.
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