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I am a fraud and my life is a lie. Hell, it's not even mine; I'm living somebody else's life (whoever they are I hope to God they're happier than me).I hate college (school, sixth form, whatever you want to call it - it all just means bullying and humiliation to me; have anxiety, will travel). It crushes me. At least at home I can be some vague shadow of the person I believe myself to be, but I cannot be me at college. All I want to do is go there, stand in the middle of the field and shout,"I am a girl! My name is not Christopher!"and for everyone to go, "so that's what was wrong," and rally round me. Of course, it's not going to happen.I lie awake at night, planning the speech I would make to the masses in assembly. I dream of transition, of surgery, of hormones, of just being me, of life. My life at the moment is hell; my body is a twisted, mangled wreck. I hate it.I get depressed, a lot; in fact, it makes more sense to say that I occasionally feel okay, because my. For a moment I watched Prostana myself trying to see how he fit into the scheme of things.I walked nearly twelve more kilometres further along before I attached the base to a large rock and returned to the ship.The family seemed to be waiting for me. We had a very large gathering with many rings of people. Sonya pointed to Durra to be first and she went to the left. I guess she was saying that she wanted a break.Durra was ready to have our child and I was not going to enter her. She lay on her back and wanted me to try. Instead I lay beside her and was as tender as I could be. She turned out to be one of the most responsive of my family. The spells that had been placed on her when she was a male ensured that this would happen. The wives loved her too for the same reason.Durra was now free to enjoy sex with more than just the master. The wives would suck on her very large clit and Durra would soon be in a world of her own. She was also able to enter the women though most could do.
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