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I hadn't seen the messages until much later, and so I hadn't responded to them, but it's bad enough without that technicality.He says he needs to go dark. I agree. I delete and block him from my chat program.*****Losing Patrick like this has been difficult. I'm so used to having him to talk to that not having him there is a huge hole in my day.I'd be flat-out lying if I didn't acknowledge that the funk I've been in for the past month isn't, in large part, due to this relationship ending. I know I've been mourning the loss of him; I feel the loss to my core.He knew me. He knew my thoughts, my quirks, my body... sometimes better than I did. He has been my best friend, he's made my days bearable, filled in what my husband is unwilling to give me. Going even two days without talking to him was rare. Cutting him off is the hardest thing I've had to do in a long time. I miss him a lot. Really, really a lot. I fight the idea of making contact every single day.And the kicker is that I can't. This day seemed especially bright. A blue, cloudless stretchedfrom horizon to the hi-rise apartments across the road."Why is it everything looks so nice, the promise of a great day. Maybeit's because I am off for two weeks," Tom happily mused as he had hismorning shower. After drying and dressing, it was a breakfast of cereal,OJ, English muffins, and the necessary coffee. Next, dishes were washedthen put away. A quick check of the apartment -- then Tom grabbed hisbags, locked up and, literally, danced to his car, thinking, "Two FreeWeeks!"--------------------------------------------------------------------------------It was the third day on the road that Tom realized he had no idea wherehe was! A two-lane blacktop, in the middle of ? going to ?. "Seems likemy driving is catching up with my life," Tom laughed inwardly, almostsaying it aloud. "Tom, don't talk to yourself! People have strange ideasabout others who hold conversations with themselves."Since Tom wasn't heading to a.
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