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He seemed to take it well enough, but I made a note about it, then sent an email to John just in case.By the end of the week I had a retired court reporter, who was married to a small time lawyer. She was also a grandmother. According to her she had plenty of time and recognized the need for someone to step up. I interviewed Mary Beth Williams on Friday of the same week. My plan was to get her certified, then start the service on Monday. It was a tall order, but I felt we could do it. I was pretty sure the rest of us could pick up the slack until she got certified. “So Mary Beth Williams, what makes you want to be an unpaid employee of the county again?” I asked.“I’m retired and my husband wants to keep working. One month of house cleaning and I am going mad. So put me to work at something worthwhile,” she suggested.I gave her the speech about accountability then sent her to the Sheriff’s office to begin the written part of the firearms course. She wasn’t going to be able to qualify. "I don't mean hardest to put up with; I mean,hardest to get right. It takes most young girls a year or so beforethey know how to make themselves look like ladies instead of tarts."And what a long process that was. I had to shave all over againbefore Pam decided that my face was smooth enough. Then there wasfoundation ("We'll skip the beard cover until you're ready to go out,Sweetie"), eye shadow, eye liner, and mascara. Then came blusher,blended with little foam wedges. Finally, she drew an outline aroundmy lips with lip liner and then filled in the outline with lipstick.It seemed to take forever. And when she was all done and let mesee...well, it was sort of iffy: on the one hand, I didn't look justlike a man in makeup. On the other, I didn't look like a woman,either. So while the result could have been worse, I wasn't toohappy with it either. I said so."Darling, a lot of it is attitude. The only reason you don't reallylook like a girl is that you aren't thinking of yourself as a.
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