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Steak dinners and really good scotch figure heavily into my criteria for how to make me grateful. But at that point, it was all I could do to keep from circling his neck with my hands. He was after all the reason I was 600 miles away from the woman I thought should be voted most desirable on the planet. I did let him run over to the Alamo desk and hurry up the paperwork for the subcompact my company thought was appropriate to my status, but then I pulled out my cell and forgot the little guy even existed. I punched in my home number and waited, half expecting to get the machine again. ‘Talk.’ It was not the machine. I was so surprised to hear the dumb jock voice of Liam that I didn’t speak for a moment. ‘Hey, pervert. Either talk to me or I’m hanging the fuck up.’ ‘Liam?’ ‘Duuude! What up man? Where the hell are ya?’ Apparently, Liam had forgotten about the fight the last time we’d actually been in the same room together, but then, when you’re an asshole and a moron it’s hard to. ’ ‘Don’t you dare laugh at me. I am all of those things and more, although I don’t have that kind of relationship with my mother, or either of my parents, if you knew them you would understand. I make up for it in other ways. I also donate a lot of money to the arts. For instance, the play that you’re planning to star in, I am the major financial backer of that. I could, if I so desired, decide whether you are chosen, or not. Before you get angry at me, I will not influence in any way the casting process.’ ‘Unless I agree to go to bed with you, in which case you will make sure that I am chosen.’ ‘No. In fact the opposite is the case. If you think that, by going to bed with me will ensure your getting the part, you are sadly mistaken. Take for instance the young lady that came with me this evening. I have no interest in whether she gets the gig with that music producer. I do not mix business with pleasure.’ ‘I thought that pleasure was your business.’ ‘Touché. That’s what most people.
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