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When we got home, just a week later, something had changed. He refused to talk to me or see me with no real explanation. This man broke my heart, and left a gaping hole in my heart and in my life ... and I have no reason why. Which makes it very hard to move on, especially since I don't even know if that is what he wants, I don't want that. I go over and over, what did I do? How could he just not talk to me, so easily? What went wrong? Very difficult and painful situation he has put me in.The pain led me to my brother Ted's house, one hot summer evening. He was having his usual Saturday night party, a fire by the pool, lots to of alcohol to drink, plenty of food and a few really good friends. I have always liked his friends, they are just like him and myself, very down to earth, funny and easy to be around. After everyone went home I was to drunk to drive home, so I stayed up and talked to Ted. He listened as I opened up to him about James, which has always been very hard for me to. " He said, then hung up.An hour later, Ivan woke me. "Dinner's ready if you want to join us, Boss." Yeah." I got up. "Sure." I couldn't even remember the last time I ate with the boys.Everyone was at the table, fully dressed - which was depressing - when I got there. Dinner was good, but I was too tired to enjoy it. The boys were unusually quiet as well.Reality had finally returned and I hated it."What time do you want breakfast tomorrow, Boss?" Zane asked. "I thought I'd do something special." I have no idea." I groused. "Juan, what time do I want breakfast?" Boss, I think you have a couple days off." He sounded cautious. "None of us have you scheduled for anything until Wednesday and I called around and no one else seems to expect you for anything."I chewed a mouthful of food slowly. I had forgotten what work used to be like. I swore I'd never be productive again, but I'd spent the last week running around like I actually cared about any of it.Time to go back to basics..
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