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Huge, dark cumulus clouds block the sun and promise yet another day of relentless rain. The ducks don’t mind at all but the threatening weather just adds to my despair. How fitting. Gun-metal gray day. Wish I had a gun. Well, fine then. Let it rain. Forever. I don’t give a rat’s ass. Something to wash away the tears so no-one will notice. But it won’t take away the fucking cold. It’s too damn fucking cold for September. Even the weather is against me. Thanks, God. That’s really kind of you! Fuck it. At what stage of grief am I right now? What did I read about that once? Oh yeah, five stages… something about denial, then followed by anger. I guess I’m at anger. Mad at me. Mad at Peg. Mad at God. Especially mad at God. Why me? And where the hell are you now anyway God? The funeral kinda took care of denial. Not much choice in that one. Oh shit, next comes depression. I’m not going to make it. There’s no way I can get past depression. Oh God, help me! That’s right, bargain with God.. Neither of them to my knowledge had a drug problem, so most likely they wouldn't be involved in any high visibility activities.Then again they might have considered the matter closed, since no one had come for them in over four months. After my walk at the mall, I went home changed for my road trip, then just drove away. I was very careful to obey all the speed laws as I drove toward the coast. I did make one stop to buy gas for the woody and to take care of clearing breakfast from my disposal area.The town wasn't on the beach. It was an old town along a major river. Finding the address the boyfriend had listed with the DMV wasn't difficult. "Good morning," I said to the clerk behind the counter of the Mail boxes ect store. I'm looking for holder of box 772. Can you help me out?" I asked."I'm sorry that information is confidential. You would have to have a warrant go gain access to our files." the middle age man suggested. I didn't have a clue if he was the franchise owner or the.
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