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Kate told me about her, she sounds like a drag. Jack: You and Kate can go fuck yourselves. Meggie/Trixie: I was joking puto! I’ll call you. I KNOW, after six, so little Jackie doesn’t get in trouble. <,3 Slipping the phone back into his pants, he took a moment to adjust his tell-tale bulge before getting bagels and coffee to go, fantasies of what could happen tonight keeping him company all the way back home. 6:27 PM Jack slipped his feet into a pair of grey plaid Vans before pulling on a short black leather jacket over a black tee. Impatiently, he checked his iphone for messages before shoving it into the front pocket of his jeans. “You chicks better not of started the party without me.” He growled softly, squeezing some gel into his hands and pushing his fingers through his dark hair. Just then, his phone came to life, muted rings drifting from the area of his crotch. “Motherfucker, of course she calls right when my hands are fucking full of gel. Story of my life. Fuck that,. ’And yew thought yew knew about every plucking thing.Unexpected Visitor!A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work.His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in.“My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I’m still in my pajamas and I can’t be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the hell did you bring him home for?”Husband answers, “Because he’s thinking of getting married.”This one is compliments of PepereOn their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident.The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder if they could possibly get married in Heaven.When St. Peter arrived, they asked him. St. Peter said, “I don’t know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out.” and he left.The couple sat and waited for an answer for a couple of months. While.
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