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That smile and those eyes - I could never resist them. Of course he knows this. I can feel my own face light up with joy and passion building up in side me. He held me in his arms. Those arms that have always given me so much comfort, the same ones who give me strength when I feel weak and yes, the same ones that give me unconditional love. Those arms of his... My mind is racing and I'm trying to find the words to tell him to hold me tighter. Even though my words did not sound audible to me he must have understood anyway as he pulled me even closer. I rest my head against his chest, I can hear his heart beating. He leans down to my ear and softly whispers, "I want you. I wanna make love to you now." I lose my breath and I can feel my knees go weak as we start making our way to the bedroom. I went to lay down on the bed, pulling him down on top of me as we kiss. His lips so soft. I slide my tounge inside his mouth to meet his. They danced around some before parting ways again. I could. Sometimes what was going on didn't hit me hard until well into the night lying alone in our bed when the insomnia came. Then I was force to relive what was happening to me and where my life went wrong. I clearly recalled the five little words that destroyed my happiness as I knew it.I often tossed thoughts around during this time: Did I seek divorce based on abandonment and take the kids mother from them? Was she even being a mother too them? Katharine's fourth birthday was coming up soon as Katie said nothing or had done nothing about it. She made no calls or tried to get with me to see if she could help.It's easy to say just get a divorce and go on. God knows I've said it a hundred times, but it's not as easy to do when you're the one forced to admit a chapter in your life is over, especially when it's a part of your life that you've grown comfortable with and really started to depend on. It's like coming to the decision to cut off one of your arms to save the rest of your body from.
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