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Now, however, a strange yearning drove me on. One that I feared, yet had to explore. I had to know. Was I a slut? Am I a slut. To be used by men for their enjoyment. I had to laugh, for I suddenly realized that this latter part was my marriage: Being used by hubby. The selfish bastard.KMart was coming back into view. Driving more carefully, more attentively, I switched lanes. The centre. The right. The turn lane.Fear gripped me.A quick glance over my left shoulder, a mighty jerk on the steering wheel, and I was propelling the car recklessly back into the line of traffic. I breathed a sigh of relief as I drove passed the store. Well, at least I made it passed! That's a good start. Right?Wrong.Mentally I kicked myself. Not once. Not twice. But several times. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to laugh -- hysterically. I wanted... I wanted to go through with this so badly it hurt. I was tired of thinking of the "what ifs". I was tired of imagining my husband dominating me. I. I thought about this while we were having dinner and I decided to ask her. “Hey, when do you start classes?” I asked. She dropped her spoon and replied, “Will, do you want me to leave? Have I become a burden?” I quickly said, “No of course not! I was just asking because…well…I don’t want you to leave just yet.” She smiled and I got the feeling she knew that already. She grabbed my hand and said, “I still have a whole month left but I’m not sure I should stay here. Don’t get me wrong, I am truly grateful for all you have done and I enjoy spending time with you, but, we just met and I don’t think it is right for me to be in your house for that long.” I told her that was nonsense and she should stay at least for a week more. She said she wasn’t sure and made the most adorable face as she was thinking about it. I could tell she was messing with me and wanted me to beg a little. “Come on Mary, you know you wanna stay. Ok how about this. You spend the night and think about it and I.
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