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You’re not the type that bows to others’ suggestions. Why would you marry someone you didn’t love?’ ‘We had feelings for each other.’ ‘What does that mean? Was the sex so good that you could forego love?’ ‘I never found out about the sex. We were getting close, but it never happened.’ ‘Look me in the eyes, Brian. Can I believe you?’ I looked her straight in the eye. She had to believe me, didn’t she? She was looking away. I had to convince her that I was being forthright. ‘I guess I rationalized that I’d had love once. I loved one woman for six years and she’d loved me with all her heart and soul. That’s more than some get, isn’t it? I knew Marian would never take Peg’s place in my heart, and I believe she knew it too. Anyway, she wasn’t looking for security. She would have been content to have an affair, but I didn’t want to bring another bastard into the world. I was the one holding out for marriage even though I knew we didn’t love each other.’ Paige was looking down at her. She left for college within days of graduation. She never returned nor did she stay in touch. Her parents left the area soon after she graduated. Everyone remembers liking her, she had no enemies, far from it. She was voted, ‘nicest’ and ‘most friendly’. She was never part of a clique, she was liked and respected in every high school social circle. Many of us have tried to track her down but she seems to have vanished. She was taller than her peers, I always sensed that she was sensitive about her height and slumped her shoulders so as not to appear taller than her classmates. She had problems with her eyes, a carryover from juvenile glaucoma. She wore very thick glasses. Today, the condition is reversible with laser day surgery, intraocular implants and has been for at well over twenty years. She was shy and soft spoken, I don’t remember that she had a date for the senior prom. Boys didn’t pursue or flirt with her. She was not on the list of the top, hot, ‘cute’ high school date.
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